You have started checking your own memory. Screenshotting conversations so you can prove to yourself they happened. Being told you are too sensitive, that it never happened, that it is all in your head, until you genuinely cannot tell any more.
If that is where you are, here is the plain answer. Gaslighting is not a standalone offence with that name. But in NSW it can now be criminal, as part of the coercive control offence in force since 1 July 2024, and it can ground an apprehended domestic violence order today. Two routes: one criminal, one protective. Let me break down both.
What exactly is gaslighting?
Gaslighting is psychological manipulation aimed at making you doubt your own memory, judgment and grip on reality. The name comes from the 1944 film Gaslight, where a husband dims the gas lights and insists his wife is imagining it.
In practice it looks like this: denying things that happened, even with proof in front of them. Trivialising your feelings (“you’re overreacting, as usual”). Rewriting past events. Withholding information, then blaming you for not knowing it. Projecting their own behaviour onto you. Over time the effect compounds: confusion, constant apologising, anxiety, and pulling away from the people who might back your version of events.
That pattern is exactly what the law now targets.
Gaslighting and the coercive control offence
Since 1 July 2024, coercive control is a criminal offence in NSW, carrying up to 7 years imprisonment.
The offence sits in s 54D of the Crimes Act 1900 (NSW), inserted by the Crimes Legislation Amendment (Coercive Control) Act 2022.
So what does that mean in plain terms? The offence targets repeated abusive behaviour towards a current or former intimate partner, done with the intention to coerce or control them, where a reasonable person would see the behaviour as likely to cause fear of violence or a serious adverse impact on the person’s day-to-day life. Sustained gaslighting, making someone doubt their own mind to keep them compliant, is precisely the kind of pattern the offence was written for.
Two honest caveats. The offence needs a pattern, not a single incident. And prosecutors must prove the intention to coerce or control, which is why your documentation matters so much (more on that below).
If the criminal route feels like a big step, there is a faster protective one. Here is the part most people do not know.
Can you get an AVO for gaslighting?
Yes, and you do not need bruises to get one.
A lot of people think you need to be physically assaulted before an AVO order is made, but that is just not true. An AVO can be granted for things like threats, intimidation, stalking, even something like sending text messages.
An apprehended domestic violence order is not a punishment; it is a set of rules protecting you, and breaching it is a criminal offence. Courts make them where there are reasonable grounds to fear intimidation, and psychological abuse fits.
I have seen how far digital evidence alone can carry a case.
I had a client once who was shocked. He said he never touched the person, and they were right, they didn’t, but the court granted the AVO based entirely on the threatening text messages.
No physical contact. An AVO made entirely on messages. That is the standard your evidence is working towards, so keep:
- Messages and emails, in full threads, not cropped
- Call logs and voicemails
- A dated diary of incidents, written at the time
- Names of anyone who saw or heard what happened
Police can also act on repeated unwanted contact on its own, so report the pattern even where no single message looks serious.
The ADVO framework sits in the Crimes (Domestic and Personal Violence) Act 2007 (NSW).
Is gaslighting considered domestic abuse in Australia?
Yes. Australian law defines domestic abuse well beyond physical violence: psychological, emotional, verbal, social and financial abuse all count, and NSW’s definitions are broad enough to cover conduct that intimidates or harasses. Gaslighting sits squarely inside that concept, usually as one thread of a wider pattern of coercive control. You do not need to wait for it to become physical for the law to recognise what is happening to you.
How to respond to gaslighting
Practical steps, in order of what they protect:
- Document everything, at the time. Your record is the antidote to “that never happened”, and it is what both an AVO application and a coercive control prosecution are built on.
- Reality-check with someone outside. One trusted friend, family member or counsellor who hears your version while it is fresh.
- Get support. 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) is free, confidential and open 24/7. If you are in immediate danger, call 000.
- Get legal advice on your options. An AVO, a police report, or both. You do not have to pick the route alone, and Legal Aid NSW is a free place to start.
One more thing, gaslighting trains you to doubt yourself. You are not weak for finding it hard to question these behaviours, and you are not imagining things. The fact you are reading this page and checking the law highlights how commonly used, and damaging, gaslighting is.
If you want to talk through whether what is happening to you would be sufficient to warrant a protective order, our AVO lawyers can help. Book a free discovery call on 1300 614 732. No pressure, no judgment, just honest advice.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is gaslighting illegal in Australia?
There is no offence called gaslighting. In NSW, sustained gaslighting can be criminal coercive control, carrying up to 7 years imprisonment since 1 July 2024, and it can ground an apprehended domestic violence order.
Can I get an AVO for gaslighting?
Yes. Courts grant AVOs for intimidation and psychological abuse without any physical violence; orders have been made on threatening text messages alone. You need evidence of the pattern: messages, call logs, a dated diary and any witnesses.
Is gaslighting a form of domestic violence?
Yes. Australian definitions of domestic abuse cover psychological and emotional abuse, not just physical harm. Gaslighting is usually one part of a wider pattern of coercive control.
What evidence do I need to prove gaslighting?
Full message threads, emails, call logs, a diary of incidents written at the time, and witnesses. Contemporaneous records matter most, because the behaviour itself is designed to make your memory contestable.
